she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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