Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
