don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
