I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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