What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
