well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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