btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
