I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
