btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
