at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
