It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
