I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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