Don't make out with my wife yet
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
