tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
