i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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