HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
