mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
