Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
