Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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