I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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