I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Let's get the cat blown out
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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