yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
