So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
