I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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