He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
