I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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