I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
