from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
