she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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