speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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