I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
