her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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