Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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