where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
