why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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