she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
