She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
