Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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