lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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