Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize