If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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