shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I queefed so loud it echoed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
