There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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