Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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