i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
