So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
