y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
