Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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