dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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