hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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